My first car was this glorious tiny truck that was my age. It was broken in so many ways. The driver side lock was busted, so it would lock but literally anything would unlock it. I kept a pocket knife in my purse because I could unlock it with that if I accidentally locked my keys inside.
One day at a gas station I locked both my keys and my purse inside. I walked over to a complete stranger and was like "Excuse me, I'm so sorry to bother you, but would you like to see a magic trick? I need a key, any key at all" and this dude actually lent me a key and I blew on it, told him this key was magic now, and then unlocked my car with it. Gave him his key back and drove away.
I remembered that guy yesterday and wondered if he thought I was on drugs or something.
lots of online people act like its weird or threatening to carry some sort of blade on you when you go out. im not carrying a katana or some shit. theres a reason swiss army knives are primarily knives, its the most commonly useful part
if you carry a sharp edge in your purse you fill the same support class ecological niche as the tylenol friend, and i recommend multiclassing into hand sanitizer friend too
@everyone in the notes taking this as self-defense advice, take a friend and have a "knife fight" with markers. once youve discovered a clear loser (noting that people tend to live long enough to flail around for a few seconds even when stabbed in the vitals), count how many marks are on the both of you
THE PRIZE FOR WINNING A KNIFE FIGHT IS DYING IN THE AMBULANCE INSTEAD OF THE ALLEY. CARRY MACE INSTEAD
Renesmee, chatting to her friends at lunch: Yeah, my mom got married super young, straight out of high school, to a guy who was way too old for her. She got knocked up immediately. They kept the whole pregnancy a secret, she didn’t leave the house the entire time she was showing. My dad’s family didn’t even want to take her to the hospital to have the baby. My grandad, who was a doctor, was going to deliver me but she went into labour prematurely, like, way prematurely and they couldn’t reach him so my dad ended up having to deliver me even though he had no experience. Anyway, she died in childbirth. She was only eighteen.
Bella, from the other side of the cafeteria:
Plato theorised that there is a realm of ideas, where the perfect true form of a thing exists. All horses we see are weak, distorted copies of the true horse, and on some level we recognise that.
As a child, you ate birthday cake. Cheap, supermarket birthday cake: the thin layer of cream and jam, the bright colours, the tooth-aching sweetness. It was never quite as good as you wanted it to be. It was tasty, but it lacked something. You ate it time and again but each time you were freshly surprised that it wasn’t all that you had imagined it to be.
Somehow, instinctively, you knew that there was a true cake out there, the cake that your subconscious kept prompting you to remember, the cake you had never tasted but which must exist. The one that would fulfil the promises of those birthday cakes.
That cake, my friends, exists. That cake is prinsesstårta.
Obsessed with the good manners of this porn bot
Truly delightful. Am I comfortable? I am not, Shelley, my dear friend, because I know the local women and it could become awkward. Thank you so much for asking.
Do you feel emotions more in your body or in your mind
mind
body (face and teeth specifically)
body (other parts, please explain)
Other (please explain)
See ResultsI don’t know which strange aspiring film director was supposed to receive the vision that descended upon me but in case any of them out there want to make the Picture Of Dorian Gray adaptation that I dreamt about last night, where there are actual vampires and the opium trips are conveyed as psychedelic dream ballets, and there’s a lot of absolutely-not-subtextual kink stuff and at one point Dorian is hanging upside down from the ceiling of a club, nude, tied up in rope, and there’s this weird, unsettling focus on the agony of a life where you always want to feel overwhelmed but somehow nothing is ever quite enough
then they’d better hurry up and do it because Timothee Chalamet won’t be able to play Dorian forever and Hugh Grant is already old for the Basil role so you’d better get cracking
Balmain | Resort 2023
The other thing about adapting the Problem of Lydia is that usually the way it goes down is that at the end of the adapted story Lydia or her equivalent is traumatized, but there is little or no lasting public impact. The situation is resolved privately. Lydia is haunted privately. This also does not happen in Pride and Prejudice. After Lydia elopes with Wickham her social status is permanently changed. That decision shapes her public reality for the rest of her life. Meanwhile as far as the text expresses, Lydia herself is not traumatized. An adult contemporary reader can and should feel concern for her, as she is a sixteen year old girl running away with an adult man who has a track record of going after other teenage girls and she ends up in complete and permanent economic dependence on him. You can read anything you like into the likely fallout: the odds of him mistreating her, in any of a thousand ways, over the long course of their relationship, and the terribly disadvantaged position she will be in if she should wish one day to push back. But Lydia herself does not ever appear on the page as someone haunted or injured by what she has experienced. And there is nothing about what Lydia does that is private. So what these adaptations do is take a social crisis and turn it into a personal one. They remove the complex long-term social/cultural/economic event that is the abandonment of Lydia and turn it into an internal horror.
In fact it's relevant that in the source text Georgiana is rescued before it is too late and is haunted privately. We see Georgiana's profound anxiety when Wickham is mentioned even indirectly by Caroline Bingley in her presence, and we know that Caroline only says these things because she doesn't know this information about Georgiana's past, because Darcy has through great effort and expense prevented even close family friends from learning about it.
The compared stories of these two women are super interesting to me: Georgiana's honor is intact, her family reputation undamaged, her economic and social future secured, with no shift in her life externally, just a profound private shame shared only with her guardian, who has forbidden her to speak about it even as he protects her from what could have been its harsher external impacts. Lydia's reputation is damaged but not ruined, a mild scandal attached to her family that will probably blow over since it all did end in marriage, but a scandal nonetheless, and the course of her life permanently changed, but Lydia as we see her on the page does not appear haunted and flatly refuses all inducements to keep silent about her experience. The difference between these women that creates this difference in outcome is, first and above all, capital: Georgiana is saved by the resources at her family's disposal, her secret kept by the application of both threats and bribes made possible by those resources. And second of all, relatedly but not exactly the same thing from the moral perspective of this particular text: class. In the moral world of Austen Georgiana is better "bred" than Lydia. She repents appropriately. She consents to be saved and to keep her own secret. Lydia does none of that.
Pride and Prejudice is entirely about class and capital. The distinction between these two outcomes has a huge income on the message of the text. The tendency to give Lydia's adapted analog an ending that more closely echoes Georgiana's canon than her own is intriguing. It certainly removes an element of the class conversation in the source material but that's not my main point here; I'm not sure what is.
eroticism of the machine doesn’t apply to iphone….iphone is like a 25 year old instagram model living in LA who practices preventative botox….conventionally beautiful but ultimately sexless. unable to express any form of desire for fear of shattering a delicately crafted facade….iphone is the kelloggs cereal of machinery
hey bestie i know what you mean but please don't say it like that. dont word it like you've been fingering your iphone for the last 6 years.
what exactly do you think i’m talking about when i mention “eroticism of the machine”